Down with Anti-Smokers

There's just something about anti-smokers (ASS) which makes anyone with half a brain writhe in irritation. These ASSes are so bloody full of themselves, walking around with their holier-than-thou attitude and demanding a ban for this and that.

Now there's a distinct difference between ASSes and non-smokers, like sterile water and sewage water. I have no issues with those who don't smoke. It's all a matter of choice, at the end of the day. We smoke, they don't. But that doesn't mean they don't condone smoking, not by a mile. They're happy to co-exist in a habitat with smokers, as long the latter don't make it a personal quest to blow fumes from the peace pipe into everyone else's faces.

Ooh, but ASSes, now they're the fungus on the milk, the proverbial itch that won't go away. Hardly a week goes by without some injured ASS whining about how someone smoked in the mamak or by the bus-stop or at the bar. Get a bloody life, mate. Alfresco dining has always been a venue for smokers to puff away nonchalantly, without having to pollute the internal environment of a restaurant or café. And mamaks are a given. A mamak without smokers is a pub without drinkers. But time and again, you find a silly little twat waving the air in front of his ugly face or holding a hankie to her pimple-ridden face whenever someone lights up. I'm always caught in two minds, to seethe with annoyance or crumple in laughter. And I still can't decide, after all this years and many a tea session.

Frankly speaking, these ASSes are nothing more than hypocrites, making a mountain out of a molehill just to highlight their virtuous ways to the world in general. To show that their healthy, wholesome, pious, upstanding members of society, they have made it a personal crusade to cry bloody murder whenever a smoker dares to cross their paths. These are the same upstanding members of society who would litter without batting an eyelid, use a hand phone while driving, make disparaging remarks about anyone under the sun, and not hesitate to stab a back or two.

Yesiree, bloody goody two-shoe little hypocrites who think they're going to heaven and smokers to hell. Now the question arises, why on earth would anyone seek to enter a paradise filled with these missionary style-only insipid little mosquitoes?

My Playlist

What makes a song the 'best'?

Is it easy listening?

Or is it because the listener is able to connect to the lyrics, to be able to feel as though the song was written for him/her?

Could it be the poignant or profound words? The catchy melody? The infectious beat?

So what would my 'best' list be, you ask. Well, currently, my favoured songs are (in their respective categories)

Best slow rock song: Stairway to Heaven
Haunting, depressing and utterly jiwang.

Most sensuous song: That's the Way Love Goes
I reckon this is Janet Jackson's best song ever. Smooth and sexy with a touch of eroticism (the song, that is).

Best love song: The Power of Love
This is simply the best love song ever. 'Love, with tongues of fire'…hair-raising, I tell you.

Best song to listen to when depressed: Let It Be
Like the four mopheads from Merseyside say, 'let it be'.

Best song to chill with: Roads
Super melancholic, dark and seamless. I think it's from Portishead's Dummy album.

Best R&B/Hip-hop song: Diamonds from Sierra Leone
One of the few covers around that pays homage to the original.

Best pop song: Come Undone
Firstly, pop is Duran Duran! Now that I've got that out of the way, listen to this song. Everything essential for a pop tune is in it, except the cheesy synthesizers.

Best dance song: Bring it back
A seminal dance classic by Moloko. Slightly shades Britney's Piece of Me, Moby's Body Rock and Sophie's Groovejet.

Best break-up song ever: I don't Want You Back
If I'm not mistaken, I read somewhere that there are 37 'fucks' and derivatives in this Eamon single. I strongly recommend it for the day after Valentine's.

Best happy hour song: Purple Rain
After a couple of whiskeys, this song get better and better. A real Royal salute.

So there you have it folks. Not the most comprehensive of lists, I warrant. But a decent playlist, at the very least.

Burdett's Bangkok Trilogy

What can I say, what should I say, what will I say.

About the Bangkok trilogy [sic].

At first glance, John Burdett's novels come across as yet another attempt by a middle-aged Caucasian trying to unveil the sleaze and corruption that is synonymous with the backstreets of Bangkok. Yet, delving deeper into his novels, and I find the bloke has, almost, a native's grasp of the goings-on in one of the most vibrant cities in the world. It doesn't hurt having been to Bangkok a couple of times. All the 'landmarks' are there, from Patpong to the dodgy sois.

Burdett weaves fact, fiction and surrealism, and the result is a slightly over-the-top trilogy of books revolving around the investigative skills of Detective Sonchai Jitpleecheep. I found the laidback detective quite engaging, not the run-of-the mill dashing P.I with a gun and a quivering member. Not a cop who is disillusioned and thinks only of downing whiskey shots and screwing every skirt that appears on the pages. So protagonist wise, Burdett had me at page 1.

The story unfolds slowly, irritatingly slow at times, but is littered with plenty of 'insider information', if you wish. Obviously Burdett is one author who has done extensive research into Bangkok, digging deep into the underbelly of the city, and not just merely defecating words that most ignorant tourists also know about Bangkok by heart - sleaze, go-go bars, girls in go-go bars and crooked cops. No, what we get is a deeper understanding of the enigmatic City of Angels, and a firmer grasp of the complexities of the apparently-simple Thai society.

What I don't dig is the ending to each novel. I'm all for twists and turns and stings in the tails, but the magnitude of the surrealism interwoven with the finale leaves a mildly dissatisfied taste on my perceived literary taste buds. Most of us crave a clean ending to any whodunit, maybe with enough of a trail for a sequel, though an open-ended approach is more my preference. Not intending to spoil any potential reader's anticipation, let me just say that the endings could be better, while maintaining the surrealistic feel that accompanies each of the three novels.

All in all, a must read. Followed by a visit to Krungthep (that's Bangkok to the uninitiated).

More info? Visit www.john-burdett.com