a tale of two cities

Mumbai - bloodied and bruised

The home of Bollywood is still reeling from gun battles at several major buildings; the death toll rising every hour. All thanks to a bunch of despicable pariahs. A group of snivelling cowards who have caused despair and grief in one of the most densely-populated cities in the world; sick individuals who mouth off holy verses yet hide behind women and children.

All of which makes one wonder if there really is a higher being after all. One can't help but feel sick in the stomach knowing such deplorable men were created by God. One shudders with disgust knowing that these scum were, at one time of their respective lives, conceived in the womb of a mother.

Hopefully, just hopefully, the Indian government wipes them off the face of the planet; not just them, but each and every single person associated with them. To hell with justice and the courts, I reckon; each scoundrel should be tied up with explosives and blown up. Oh, and for good measure, televise it throughout the world, YouTube included; that should send a message to all the other terrorists prowling around Asia and the Middle East.

Bangkok - chaotic and paralysed

Closer to home, the gridlock that is Thai politics shows no signs of abating, in fact, it seems to be heading to a potentially blood-spilling showdown. The antagonists, pro and and anti-government forces, appear to be gearing up for one last Cup final; just who comes out as the winner is anybody's guess.

The joker in the pack remains the Army. Whoever garners military support has one hand on the cup. However, events over the past few weeks look to have wavered the generals' stance. Where once they leaned towards the anti-government rabble, now they appear non-too happy about the massive disruptions the Thaksin-haters have brought upon Bangkok.

And in a time when economies are looking around desperately to salvage any semblance of normalcy, our neighbours have contrived to shoot themselves in the foot, and not for the first time. December has always been the busiest period for tourism; Bangkok now looks set to suffer the ignominy of having half-filled hotels and a mere trickle of hardcore tourists visiting it. I don't know the exact figures in terms of potential losses from a drop in tourism, but they are sure to be in the billions.

The only glimmer of light is the fact that Phuket has remained relatively trouble free throughout this latest conflict, as have the other main tourist spots like Krabi, Koh Samui and Chiang Mai. When an eventual solution to this mess is realised, the repercussions of this battle of wills between two recalcitrant parties might be even more long-lasting than the 2004 tsunami.

game, set and match?

The Rules of the Game has come into my possession. [Insert megalomaniacal laughter here]

The book that trumps all other self-help books.

The book that gives the reader insight into the secret art of picking-up people.

The book that promises to turn even the dullest of country bumpkins into a suave, smooth-talking ladies' man.

I'm more than skeptical, I might even say incredulous. Yet, I'm also curious. There's this nagging itch at the back of my mind nudging me towards the first page. I lay the blame on first-hand testimonials and an intriguing book cover. At first glance, The Rules of the Game comes across as another one of those mumbo-jumbo dating aids that start off being best sellers, and end up in the bargain bin some six months later. And it appears its predecessor, The Game, was highly successful, or so Amazon tells me. Then again, almost every book on Amazon seems to be a best seller.

So am I going to get started on The Rules? Perhaps. It should make an, erm, interesting read. Something to while my time away at the cafe or Starbucks. Though I will probably have to spread my palm over the front cover; I reckon one of the Rules will be to not be seen in public reading a book on the rules of dating. If it isn't, then it ought to be inserted the later editions.

Prejudices aside, I have a strong feeling that this book is going to be just another Who Moved My Cheese - boring and self-indulgent.

Or it could just be the next best thing after the Dummies series.

I wait with anticipation.

what's next; aerobics?

While the world waddles forth, Malaysia skips backwards. In a tumultuous economic climate, where companies are winding up by the dozens, we shamefacedly pronounce that things are as rosy as ever here. And to show that Malaysia is really immune from the plague spreading terror among the world markets, certain 'people' have decided to focus their precious time and effort on more pressing matters that affect national security and the well-being of a huge slice of society - the scourge of tomboys and yoga.

Question: Can people get any stupider?
Answer: Apparently they can.

The only good thing that I can see coming out of this is a huge drop in electricity tariffs. Why? Cause we're firmly set on reliving the Dark Ages.

Hilarious, but sadly true.