damages pending

Five days, and I haven't touched a drop of alcohol. Woo-hoo!

Thursday was a real bitch, considering I was so blood tempted. Sat myself down in Starbucks and OD-ed on caffeine instead.

Which isn't really a healthy alternative, but a safer alternative nevertheless. And even in Club 9 and Zouk and Envie and Twenty One, the temptation was driving me up the wall, but somehow I got through.

So here I am, sober as a judge, with not so much of a twinge of longing for drinks. Not yet, anyways.

The last straw was the doctor gently chiding me for my rate of consumption. And a cute doctor at that. So how could I go against her wishes eh? (wink wink)

But yeah, the damage to my body has been overwhelmingly painful, and that's putting it mildly. Probably over-drank Wednesday last week; there were angry welts all over my back, and rashes littered my arms and hands. Add to that the numerous cuts and bruises and swellings and I think it's a good thing I stopped while I was ahead. And we're not even going to talk about the damage inside my head.

I dance to forget, I drink to remember, and everything else just passes by.

So yeah, it's back to ginger ale and soda water for me. In no way have I exorcised the gremlins in my head (some have returned from the dead), neither have I addressed the issue at hand. But in a way, the resignation that I'll not get what I want has made me calmer, oddly enough.

The old me's dead and gone.

Not really. But such is life, eh?