A demoralising past ten days or so. Started off well, then downhill, one thing after another.
The oscillation between elation and anguish, truth be told, has made me quite morose over everything. The defeat last night took whatever remaining little wind right out of my sails, and has me contemplating the days to come.
A few people try to make light of yesterday's events. Just a game, they say. Just a game? Dude, this is a team I've supported since I was six. This is MY team, there is no other, there never will be any other. For the fifteenth time, I'm absolutely, positively gutted over the loss. And I know, breaking up has exacerbated this low emotions, pardon the pun. I'm still at a loss at even attempting to let it slip, to let anyone know what has transpired. Well, I've told one or two individuals, more to gauge how I handle the impending questions than anything else. And true to form, I managed to answer while deflecting the real issue at hand, why.
At this juncture, how do I start again? How do I pick myself up and look forward to the next one? Will there be a next one? Do I want a next one? Maybe I don't, maybe it'll conclude with the same ending. A broken relationship which would not even grant me reason to be angered, to hate and to resent. For these are companions much easier to live with than sadness, than self realisation and reflection.
(Sigh) Such is life. I started out overjoyed with the victory over the Portuguese, only to have the bubble burst unexpectedly that same night. Watching my team lose last night further eroded my already decaying morale, and cemented the inevitable.
Somehow, someway, I believe. I will rise again. Till then, I will explore these long lost depths that I want to plunge into, unwillingly.
The oscillation between elation and anguish, truth be told, has made me quite morose over everything. The defeat last night took whatever remaining little wind right out of my sails, and has me contemplating the days to come.
A few people try to make light of yesterday's events. Just a game, they say. Just a game? Dude, this is a team I've supported since I was six. This is MY team, there is no other, there never will be any other. For the fifteenth time, I'm absolutely, positively gutted over the loss. And I know, breaking up has exacerbated this low emotions, pardon the pun. I'm still at a loss at even attempting to let it slip, to let anyone know what has transpired. Well, I've told one or two individuals, more to gauge how I handle the impending questions than anything else. And true to form, I managed to answer while deflecting the real issue at hand, why.
At this juncture, how do I start again? How do I pick myself up and look forward to the next one? Will there be a next one? Do I want a next one? Maybe I don't, maybe it'll conclude with the same ending. A broken relationship which would not even grant me reason to be angered, to hate and to resent. For these are companions much easier to live with than sadness, than self realisation and reflection.
(Sigh) Such is life. I started out overjoyed with the victory over the Portuguese, only to have the bubble burst unexpectedly that same night. Watching my team lose last night further eroded my already decaying morale, and cemented the inevitable.
Somehow, someway, I believe. I will rise again. Till then, I will explore these long lost depths that I want to plunge into, unwillingly.
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