I never knew there was such a thing as blogosphere SWF. Single White Female. I'm sure some of you are going, 'what on earth is a Single White Female?' Well, the term comes from a psychological thriller of the same name, starring Bridget Fonda. Watch it, and you will never say 'imitation is the best form of flattery' again. Yeah, well back to my revelation. After being alerted about the possible existence of a blog mimic and being quite skeptical, I hooked onto the link and gasp! A carbon copy of the original blog (not mine), from the same layout to the exact tags/ categories to the near identical style of writing. A doppelganger, no less. Now that's something you don't just bump into on any given day. I would say freaky, but that'd be too flippant. What's even more disturbing is that I've met the acquaintance of this blogfax. All I can say is see no evil, read no evil.
It's Raya tomorrow, and I'm quite disappointed that no sturdy plans have presented themselves to me. Fraser's is now off, thanks to, get this, broken telephone lines. Somethings never cease to amaze me. Even more so considering it involves the Development Board of the former colonial hill station. Broken bloody telephone lines, hrrmmpphhh. Plan B hasn't been conceived; I'm hesitant to use 'yet'. I think it'll be a total waste of time spending five days in KL doing nothing. And there won't be much to do anyways. And it's plain silly for me to drive outstation alone. Really.
Speaking of travelling, there are certain 'comforting' sights and structures that soothes my nerves when driving around, lost and clueless with nightfall well into its zenith. Imagine you're driving along a poorly lit trunk road (they're always poorly lit, mind you), growing more and more doubtful by the minute that you took the correct turn. The hotel you're looking for is nowhere in sight; neither is the huge landmark that says you're on the correct path. I must reiterate, this isn't some Hitchcock thriller, all in black and white. These things really happen. How many of us have sufficient testosterone to just park the car by the side of the road, and see out the night, preferably while in Sandman land? What's that? I can't hear you. Thought as much.
So what brings comfort in these dark moments? What makes you feel at ease, knowing there is civilisation up ahead. Well, in no particular order:
7-Eleven: I believe any place without a 7E isn't up to modern civilisation standards. The 24 hour convenience shop offers more than Slurpees and Maggi Cup Noodles; it offers the chance to converse with another fellow human being. And to stock up on Red Bull Less Sugar.
24 hour Petrol Station: Safety. There's nothing more uplifting after driving clueless for hours than a brightly lit, well maintained Petronas or Shell station. The opportunity to relieve one's self, besides topping up the tank. And chances are, if they're operational around the clock, the volume of traffic is quite steady. Note that this occurrence is highly unlikely, considering most kiosks along trunk roads still use the ancient analog pumps.
Mamak/ restaurant: Hallelujah. Teh tarik kurang manis, and nasi goreng tambah pedas. A vibrant mamak or a well-populated restaurant brings hope that you won't end up pontianak or babalung fodder. A warm meal emanates a comforting glow from within your stomach, while allowing you to listen to incessant banter other than that of a radio DJ. Should be noted that a heavy meal at these sanctuaries might send you on a desperate search for a toilet some two hours later, or turn your eyelids to lead.
Mosque/ church/ temple: Divine help. I was once lost (literally, that is) up in Fraser's, along, get this, Jalan Ampang. After what seemed an eternity (that's 20 minutes, real time), a white dog appeared and led us stragglers (we started out as adventurers) to a temple, before promptly lifting his leg nonchalantly, all in a day's work. Now that's what I call 'help from above.' Of course, it could have just been the dog using the same route as us. But you had to have been there to fully appreciate this moment.
I'm pretty damn sure there are several other places that are equally as reassuring. Hospitals can go either way, as do police stations and creepy standalone hotels and resthouses. To be avoided at all costs - cemeteries, abandoned houses, kampungs, rivers, forests of any kind, plantations of any crop, junctions and sleepy hollows. And most definitely avoid post-midnight visits to washrooms in highway rest stops. Malam Boleh Jalan* will take on a whole new dimension.
Have a pleasant Raya and enjoy the holidays.
(*Night can go)
Speaking of travelling, there are certain 'comforting' sights and structures that soothes my nerves when driving around, lost and clueless with nightfall well into its zenith. Imagine you're driving along a poorly lit trunk road (they're always poorly lit, mind you), growing more and more doubtful by the minute that you took the correct turn. The hotel you're looking for is nowhere in sight; neither is the huge landmark that says you're on the correct path. I must reiterate, this isn't some Hitchcock thriller, all in black and white. These things really happen. How many of us have sufficient testosterone to just park the car by the side of the road, and see out the night, preferably while in Sandman land? What's that? I can't hear you. Thought as much.
So what brings comfort in these dark moments? What makes you feel at ease, knowing there is civilisation up ahead. Well, in no particular order:
7-Eleven: I believe any place without a 7E isn't up to modern civilisation standards. The 24 hour convenience shop offers more than Slurpees and Maggi Cup Noodles; it offers the chance to converse with another fellow human being. And to stock up on Red Bull Less Sugar.
24 hour Petrol Station: Safety. There's nothing more uplifting after driving clueless for hours than a brightly lit, well maintained Petronas or Shell station. The opportunity to relieve one's self, besides topping up the tank. And chances are, if they're operational around the clock, the volume of traffic is quite steady. Note that this occurrence is highly unlikely, considering most kiosks along trunk roads still use the ancient analog pumps.
Mamak/ restaurant: Hallelujah. Teh tarik kurang manis, and nasi goreng tambah pedas. A vibrant mamak or a well-populated restaurant brings hope that you won't end up pontianak or babalung fodder. A warm meal emanates a comforting glow from within your stomach, while allowing you to listen to incessant banter other than that of a radio DJ. Should be noted that a heavy meal at these sanctuaries might send you on a desperate search for a toilet some two hours later, or turn your eyelids to lead.
Mosque/ church/ temple: Divine help. I was once lost (literally, that is) up in Fraser's, along, get this, Jalan Ampang. After what seemed an eternity (that's 20 minutes, real time), a white dog appeared and led us stragglers (we started out as adventurers) to a temple, before promptly lifting his leg nonchalantly, all in a day's work. Now that's what I call 'help from above.' Of course, it could have just been the dog using the same route as us. But you had to have been there to fully appreciate this moment.
I'm pretty damn sure there are several other places that are equally as reassuring. Hospitals can go either way, as do police stations and creepy standalone hotels and resthouses. To be avoided at all costs - cemeteries, abandoned houses, kampungs, rivers, forests of any kind, plantations of any crop, junctions and sleepy hollows. And most definitely avoid post-midnight visits to washrooms in highway rest stops. Malam Boleh Jalan* will take on a whole new dimension.
Have a pleasant Raya and enjoy the holidays.
(*Night can go)
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