Well, almost.
Things have changed, are changing, and will continue to change. Underwent a sobering epiphany, if that were possible. Suddenly the tree are parting, allowing sight of the peaks beyond.
Mea culpa. That is my first step. I feel betrayed, I am betrayed. Yet through my own doing, willingly and knowingly. I'm past recriminations now, both self and towards others. The mirror is a cruel judge; it swells your vanity, yet bares your inner being. Stripped of pride, ego, anger, resentment, sadness, melancholy and despair, I now see with absolute clarity the consequences of my actions all these years.
There is no more room for idealism and romanticism, there will be none to come. Once, I endured. Twice, I survived. But not thrice. I'm tired of giving to others, of living for others. Tired, and disillusioned. Faith no more, if you will. People always talk about the next in line, of better things to come, of not carrying one's burden and emotional baggage along for the next journey. I'm tossing everything to the side. They scatter around wildly as I relieve my aching back of their comforting load; love, care, affection, passion, romance, warmth, truth, understanding, empathy, sympathy.
Now on, it's get what you want, then get lost. Plain and simple. Life's all about charades and masquerades these days, and he who performs the best, he who wears the most impenetrable of masks, triumphs. Emotions are of little consequence, mere troublesome insects that need to be swatted away. Be true to yourself, above all. For no truth is greater, I think.
Nunc scio quid sit amor. Sine ira et studio
Things have changed, are changing, and will continue to change. Underwent a sobering epiphany, if that were possible. Suddenly the tree are parting, allowing sight of the peaks beyond.
Mea culpa. That is my first step. I feel betrayed, I am betrayed. Yet through my own doing, willingly and knowingly. I'm past recriminations now, both self and towards others. The mirror is a cruel judge; it swells your vanity, yet bares your inner being. Stripped of pride, ego, anger, resentment, sadness, melancholy and despair, I now see with absolute clarity the consequences of my actions all these years.
There is no more room for idealism and romanticism, there will be none to come. Once, I endured. Twice, I survived. But not thrice. I'm tired of giving to others, of living for others. Tired, and disillusioned. Faith no more, if you will. People always talk about the next in line, of better things to come, of not carrying one's burden and emotional baggage along for the next journey. I'm tossing everything to the side. They scatter around wildly as I relieve my aching back of their comforting load; love, care, affection, passion, romance, warmth, truth, understanding, empathy, sympathy.
Now on, it's get what you want, then get lost. Plain and simple. Life's all about charades and masquerades these days, and he who performs the best, he who wears the most impenetrable of masks, triumphs. Emotions are of little consequence, mere troublesome insects that need to be swatted away. Be true to yourself, above all. For no truth is greater, I think.
Nunc scio quid sit amor. Sine ira et studio
2 comments:
For no truth is greater!!! TRUE TRUE! - hey - when we go yam seng?
hmm, have to coordinate with Mahjong Meng, Taiko Tay and Tiny Thean. Maybe next Friday. This whole week very busy.
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